Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
