i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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