there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize