Do vagina's smell?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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