Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
