There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize