FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
