Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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