the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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