Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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