i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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