How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
