I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
