If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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