i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You made out with two different species that night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I deserve this hangover.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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