Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
we're so committed to being not committed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
