I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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