He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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