i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
