guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
