Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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