Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
