Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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