I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
