They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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