I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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