I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
