we're blogging at a bar
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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