You made me cry and you don't even care
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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