White coat. Heels.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
