Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize