i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
