Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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