Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
