I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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