I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you win again, gameday.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
