i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I bet he comes in French.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
