I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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