I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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