you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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