you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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