he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
