that's an acceptable place to lick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
