just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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