Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
