She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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