Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
