No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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