you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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