Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
