did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
