THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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