this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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