If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
