There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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