It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
