My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
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The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...