Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I said "one day" and that day is not today