I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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