just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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