gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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