You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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