i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
