every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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