my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
