I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
