Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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