dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
