There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
