that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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